Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize