News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
