im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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