One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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