i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
