just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
