Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
