and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
