I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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