We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Randomize
