I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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