i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
