There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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