Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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