I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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