i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize