i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
