We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
