a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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