well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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