I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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