I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He did a backflip because drugs
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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