you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
