I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Pants are for mortals
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
