Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
