So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
