Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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