i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
