So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
