The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
