then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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