We won't sleep together?
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
