I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
