$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
