i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
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