Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
