she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
