I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
