So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
