VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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