69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
