i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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