The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I smell like Dick and happiness
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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