i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
