I seem to have left my pride at pride
im six kinds of drunk right now
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
