Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
