Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
