I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
