Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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