He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
