Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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