dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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