we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
