So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
