you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
