she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I know her cup size but not her name....
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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