How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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