i jhust puked up my retainher.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
