We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
