Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize