I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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