i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
