forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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